LOMS Inspiration for Scenes #4—(Spoiler) The Naughty Garter Toss

If you haven’t read Lips on my Soul, you want to avoid this post so this a scene isn't spoiled for you. Oh, man! Come on now, don’t be judging, but yes, it’s a true story.

This actually happened to one of my best friends. I will refer to my friend as Cathy for this blog post to protect her privacy. All locations have been removed.

I honestly could write an entire book on the clusterfuck which was my girlfriend’s wedding, but for book 2, I only took one element that stood out the most.

My girlfriend got married on a tropical island at the start of the warm season. It was beautiful, but it was hot—like sweat drip down your balls hot. Cathy picked out the wedding dress of her dreams. However, she didn’t take into consideration the climate in which she was getting married or the material of the dress when choosing it. Cathy’s dress was heavy, thick satin—not ideal for a muggy, tropical environment.

As her matron of honor, I was running around with her to get her prepared for the big day. Go for morning run, eat breakfast, shower, fight with bridesmaids, take her to get her hair done, fight with bridesmaids some more, recruit my husband as the wedding photographer when theirs didn’t show up, do Cathy’s make up, drastic last minute alterations to bridesmaid dresses, more fighting with bridesmaids…you get the picture. Chaos and running around don’t work well in moist conditions.

It came time to get Cathy in her dress and she had it up to her neck dealing with bullshit and sweat. “I refuse to wear undergarments,” she announced as she stripped in front of me and my husband, not giving a shit that he was there to take pictures.

“Whatever you want, Cathy. It’s your day,” I said as I helped her in her dress. Hell, I was tempted to go commando too, but my dress was too short. All that I needed was a gust of wind to come barreling through during the ceremony and add more drama to the day.

The ceremony was beautiful—a few glitches, but nothing as crazy as the hours leading up to it. Reception was thrown together wonderfully for the resort being unprepared for a wedding.

And then came time for the garter toss… Now, I knew Cathy wasn’t wearing panties. My husband who was taking pictures at the time she announced it, knew she wasn’t wearing panties. But somewhere along the way, Cathy had forgotten she wasn’t wearing panties.

She sat on her brother-in-laws knee, waiting for the big reveal, completely calm, smiling at all the guests. Her husband threw the skirt of her dress over his head, and Cathy’s eyes popped wide open in shock.

Both my husband and I knew what was going on underneath that dress. We were dying of laughter at our table watching my best friend trying her best to not let on what was happening. Her face was as bright at a tomato, her smile was strained, and sweat was building on her temples the longer her husband was under her skirt.

When her husband finally came out from under there, he had the biggest shit-eating grin imaginable and a garter hanging in his mouth.

So there you have it. Garter toss = true story. Note to readers who plan on getting married: wear underwear.