LOMS Inspiration for Scenes #3 - (Spoiler) Punk's Naked Run

Bahaha. Oh, my God! The tears I had when I wrote that scene…yes, it’s a true story which involves my infamous college-hood friend, Pete. Names have been changed for privacy and locations are left out.

Where I went to college, there was a tradition that the cross country/track team did every year—the naked mile. Now, by the time I got to college the tradition had died down and became very hush, hush. It used to be publicized, but over the years the university really cracked down on its athletes doing anything ‘inappropriate’ in public. Removal from sport teams was the threat if we athletes participated and were caught—caught being the loop hole. Runners are pretty fast and excellent at escaping local law enforcement when it comes to a chase on foot. Plus, cops aren’t exactly excited about tackling a naked stranger.

Eventually, the tradition died, but the stories were legendary. Our little group was pretty close and spent most of our waking hours together, making the most of college life. Reminiscing about the good ole days and festivities we never got to partake in, were common conversations.

It was January and the start of indoor track season, and we were in the middle of a massive blizzard. Classes were cancelled, track meet was cancelled, and I was unable to head back home to be with my son because the roads were dangerous. It was a rare weekend where I got to spend it with my best buddy, Pete, on campus.

Weekends meant bar hopping, but since the bars were pretty much closed, we resorted to an impromptu house party. Pete got wasted and we were talking with the few people at the party about the infamous naked mile. We started to say, “Wouldn’t it be fun. We should do it. Cops aren’t going to chase after a bunch of drunk twenty-something years olds running naked around campus.” I repeat, it was January in Wisconsin, massive blizzard, over a foot of snow on the ground—we were clearly talking out of our asses because who the hell would strip down naked and run out in sub-zero temp in a damn blizzard?!

Somehow, Pete got it in his head that we were all on the same page, serious about doing it. Next thing I knew, he was stripping down to his birthday suit, swinging open the door, and shouting, “Lets roll.”

Pete took off at a mad dash down the snow covered street while the rest of us stood there with our red solo cups and gaping mouths, watching him run for all his worth. None of us actually thought that one of us was drunk enough to try it. But here Pete was proving all us wrong.

At some point, Pete turned around and realized he was completely alone, bare-ass naked in the street during a snow storm. He about-faced and raced back to the apartment.

And what do we do as good friends? We shut and locked the patio door, laughing our asses off at poor Pete pounding on the glass to be let back inside. I was the one who took pity on him and let him in. I didn’t want to have guilt if he froze his man-bits off.

So there you have the inspiration for Punk’s famous naked run in Lips on my Soul.